Joo know what time it is?

I had a semi-relaxing weekend weed my amigos in San Juan Capistrano this past weekend. We stayed at mi amiga Remmy’s 70’s love chack, and the only one that got ass was Fred Turd. The only orgasm the rest of us got was by eating Amaretto snowball cookies from Marge’s Bakery. Fred’s boyfriend “friend” made us piña coladas while we munshed on so mosh yunk food! Seriously, we had notting healthy to eat. I gained at least 10 pounds and my cousin’s wedding is in less than a week!!! I’m not going to fit in my sexy coral dress!!! Pero, damn those drinks hit the spot.

I was so excited to go to the beash becoz my other friends HATE going. They say it’s a white people teeng only. Anyways, if joo are going to bisit the beashes at San Juan Capistrano PLEASE DON’T GO IN THE WATER!!! No, there aren’t sharks, eben worse…There are rocks! I went to swim in the water next teeng joo know the wave turned into a monster. When I tried to run out, the wave would come back, grab me, throw me to the ground, flip me, while the rocks scraped my back. It was soooo painful guys. I swear. At the same time, the chittiest, most saltiest, piss water kept coming in my mouth. I couldn’t scream becoz the salt was burning my throat. After I finally surbibed that nightmare, I told my friends that I needed a margarita to forget that physical abuse. So we went to the world famous Olamendis Mexican restaurant. We had the honor to sit at President Nixon’s table. He used to live there in Capistrano and he made this restaurant popular. The food was ok, pero the interior design gave Coacha so many ideas!!!

The next day, we decided to go to Dana Point Beash instead. It was sooo beautiful. It still had rocks, pero they were more like pebbles. There were only white people there, except for Coacha and some Muslims in back of me. I’m not going to enlarge this picture, becoz, like I said, I gained 10 pounds…Oh and I lost my flower in the water =(

My gringo friend Chris, gave me one of these boogie boards? I don’t know what they are called, pero I kept on falling off it. All these 4 jeer old white little boys and girls were REALLY SURFING. How the hell do they do these teengs???

Anyways, it was interesting becoz for the first time in my life I kind of felt like I was in Saved by the Bell. Living in Tijuana all my life, this was a real treat. The only teeng I realized after this trip was, being a blogger means joo can NEBER have a bacation!!! My numbers dropped during the weekend, so I need to get back to work and gibe my biewers the chisme they are crabing…