So on Wednesday night we went to the Yim Carrey Premiere for “Jes Man!”. My Jewish amigo Noah, from the “Noah and Katrina Show”, hooked La Coacha and Bijou (my camerawoman/partner in crime) tickets to the premiere. When I say “hook up” I mean, not only did we hang out at the red carpet, we went inside the theatre with YIM CARREY and all the starsÂ to watch the movie!!!
We saw some of the stars from the movie. I didn’t even know who the khell some of these people were so I guess they weren’t real stars. I yust took pictures weed them! I thought the girl, pictured below was La Katy Perry pero I wasn’t sure. I sang, “I Kissed a Girl” and she rolled her eyes, so I was like “That’s Katy Scary for sure!”, and then everyone around me was like, “NOOO!! That’s not her. Keep joor mouth chut La Coacha”. OOPS!Â
And then Yim Carrey came, and the crowd started roaring. He was dropped off the red carpet by his girlfriend, La Yenny McCarthy, who looked khot!!
YimmyÂ was in a rush. He spoke to 5 reporters at the same time to save time. No one got any exclusives from him, except E!, Access Hollywood and LA COACHA!!! Actually, we didn’t even have a camera. We had a flip, and Bijou was recording. Â We wanted to get his attention so badly, so I told the crew to start shanting, “CAPRICORN! CAPRICORN! CAPRICORN!!!” Sure enough it worked, and out of all his fans he came to us!! I had a couple of seconds, so I sang his famous “Alrighty Then” song from Ace Bentura Pet Detectibe! Â He loved it, and started laughing!
Wash it in action here:
They didn’t allow us to take any pictures in the movie theatre. Pero, we did!Â Ay Dios Mio. Not only did Gerard Butler not know what was going to happen to him that night, La CoachaÂ didn’t even know!
So we followed the celebrities to the after party, and took pictures with some. I went up to Tommy Davidson from In Living Color and starting singing “In Living Color”. He loved it. Brothas love it when I sing! And then Wilmer Valderama came. I took a picture and then said, “Hey. How joo feel that joor ex-girlfriend Lindsay is a lesbian now. Did it have anything to do with joor chorizo?”. Â Chorizo is a Mexican sausage. And he got annoyed and walked away.Â
So then we tried to sneak into the afterparty, and the security didn’t let us. So, our crew went into Yerry’s Deli for a conspiracy. An hour went by. It was freeeezing!!! I was wearing 2 trenchcoats. The crew was so tired, and wanted to go home. Yim already left the party, so I though there was no point to go in anymore. Until…I saw PAPARAZZI. Â And then the paparazzi started running after someone. We didn’t know who it was. Bijou was like the French Ethel, and La Coacha was like the Latina Lucy. We were up to no good. We raaan after the paparazzi to report the news. I wanted to report the news to everyone. By the time I got to the car, I saw Gerard Butler. I started “flirting” with Gerard and saying, “hey papi, this is a real Latina, not La Camaron Diaz”.Â .
And guess what? I woke up the next morning, getting all these phone calls from eberyone saying “La Coacha joo are on TMZ” . Not only was I on their website, I was on all four of their tv shows!!!
LA COACHA WENT TO REPORT THE NEWS AND LA COACHA BECAME THE NEWS!