Posted by: La Coacha on Saturday, May 30th, 2009 to Chisme


lax-

What a flightmare! I was at an important meeting when I received a call from a media contact, telling me that Gerardo Butler was at the airport. Everyone has seen THIS INFAMOUS TMZ CLIP OF ME CHASING GERARD! 

I got into my full gear, and headed to the El Lay X. I called my partner in crime, Bijou, who actually wore her own bersion of THEEE ARETHA FRANKLIN INAUGURAL HAT that she had sown herself!!! 

aretha-franklins-inauguration-bow tie hat

Before we got into the airport, security pulled us over due to “suspicion”. They searched my entire car, my trunk and UNDER my car! They then made me get out of the car! I was like, “I know my tits look like bombs, pero I am no f*cking terrorist!” Finally, they let us go and said, “Thanks for making our day!”.  I felt sorry for them, they were so bored. 

The second we got inside the airport a paparazzi started snapping us. I liked it. Bijou HATED it. 

My “confidential” contact was there, and he told me that Sacha Baron Cohen had arrived! I got so excited, even though media insiders have told me that Sacha is not so nice  when he is out of character. I have met him before as “Borat”, and Borat loved me. Pero, Sacha Judio Cohen was a different story!

Sacha Cohen, Borat and La Coacha

He was soooo faaaaaast, like a serpent! Like a little chy boy, he was looking at me from the corner of his eyes. La Diva had his guards and greeters protect him. When I saw El Libra, I said, “Brrrruno. Brunoooo. It’s me! La Coacha! Remember me? Why aren’t joo wearing joor little Bruno chorts?”, and then I caressed his leg! Pero, he ran into the car like a sheeken chit! Before he chut the door on me, I threw my Reel and it landed on his bagpack! Good aim. The interesting part is that he LOVES to clown on people, pero he doesn’t like to be clowned on.

I then went inside. The papz started snapping a fro. Who knew American Airlines was the hottest place to be on a Friday night!! La Fro turned around it was… La Diana Ross. They told me not to get near her because cheese a beesh.  Pero, I didn’t give a chit. I never imagined I would meet a Soopreme in my lifetime!

Dianna Ross-Airport

I needed to know her zodiac sign. Thank Dios Fred Turd was home on a Friday night. He Wikipedia-ed it to me in a second!

“Aries, Aries!”,  I said. She started smiling. And then when I started singing, “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”, she started frowning and gave me some major ‘tude. 

And then my Sexy,Scottish Scorpio was making his entrance. There was a herd of paparazzi. He pretended to be “on the phone” so that he could avoid any conversation/eye contact con el paparazzi. When he came inside and saw, me I said, “Scorpio. Scorpio!”. Although joo can’t see his face on bideo, he was laughing in a “Oh chit, cheese here” kinda way. He once told TMZ that “he will never forget La Loca” (referring to me at the “Yes Man” premiere).

gerard_butler-phantom of the opera

It was always a fantasy of mine to sing “The Phantom of the Opera” to a sexy guy. Pero, it was beyond my wildest imagination that I would sing it to the ACTUAL Phantom of the Opera!! So I started singing, The Phaaaaaantom of the Opera is HERE Inside…The El Lay X???”. 

A giggly and sarcastic Gerard Butler, then said, “Joo are Sooooo CHY!”. 

My Scorpio then departed to Nueva York =( 

Here is bideo footage captured on a Flip HD Camera!

 

And of course, it ended up on TMZ! Pero, there were sooo many better chots? They missed me singing to him. They missed him saying I’m chy and laughing. Oh well, it’s still pooblicity. Hope it ends up on their tv show on Monday! Crossing fingers!

La Coacha and Gerard Butler on TMZ

 

 



8 Responses to “ Coacha Chases Sacha Cohen, Diana Ross y Gerard Butler at the El Lay X! ”

  1. HAHAHA FUNNY

  2. i LOVE UOU cOACHA

  3. WOW

  4. MAMI RICA!!!

  5. That was hysterical! Keep up the good work! LOVE YOU!!!!! :-)

  6. LATINA GIRL YEAH!!

  7. yOU ARE hottttttt

  8. hehe i love . ur so funny… n he will never forget u hehe.

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