Posted by: on Thursday, August 7th, 2008 to Whore-o-Scope

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LEO

Yuly 23-August 22 (La Kim Cattrall)

Eberyone is into joo now, pero I teenk it’s time to literally get eberyone INTO joo!!! When confused about love listen to that inner “boice”, and not the one that cums from joor head. It’s Leo time! Live it up!!!

BIRGO

August 23-September 22 (La Heidi Montag)

A certain romantic situation might cause mixed feelings. Teengs will get more clear during the weekend. The “wise” man will tell joo to engage joor heart and brain. Pero, HEART and BRAIN don’t go hand in hand. Heart and Head do..Get the most you can in this heat.

LIBRA

September 23-October 22 (La Kim KardASSian)

For tomorrow joo habe been focusing too mosh on work and dinero. Get it out of the way. The only yob joo need to be teenking is a blow yob. Do that and it will make way for explorations!

SCORPIO

October 23 – November 21 (La Nicolette Sheridan)

Get the good vibes flowing. And keep the *** flowing! This positive energy lets joo take teengs as they cum over the next couple of days. Joo got it goin’ on these days, Scorpio. Say ‘yes!’ to inbitations this weekend!

SAGITTARIUS

November 22-December 21 (La Britney Spear)

Being clear is more important than being cute. Allow joorself time to puzzle through a bad emotion and speak joor mind about it. Please don’t hide behind the bush. And speaking of bush, chave it off!

CAPRICORN

December 22-January 19 (La Sienna Miller)

Ober the next couple of days, joo will be better equipped to make romantic desicions — large or small, hehe. Keep joor hopes in joor hand. Joo are a Capricorn, joo know no matter what joo got his balls in joor hands anyways…

AQUARIUS

January 20-February 18 (La Paris Hilton)

Love’s full of soorprises this weekend and while joo are teenking big, joo might miss someteeng small, hehe. Awwww… They say good teengs cum in small packages. So appreciate that so that connections on all sorts of lebels will cum easier.

PISCES

February 19-March 20 (La Charon Stoned)

Don’t be afraid to ask for what joo want — after all, the hidden slut in joo got so much to give! Romantic matters are on the UPswing now. Give them a push or two, baby. And weed the weekend cums a piece of good luck. Orale!

ARIES

March 21-April 19 (La Yenna Yameson)

Life’s a little bumpy around Friday, pero, sadly not in the bedroom. Keep love-related stressful matters separate from sex. Saturday night and Sunday are far better for exploring a connection. Andale Pues.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20 (La Brooke Hogan)

The only multitasking joo should be teenking about this weekend is to hook up weed as many people as possible. Joo want joor sexual energy to be intense for the next couple of days. Allow balance and most importantly SPACE. Joo got lots of baby! So take it all in!

GEMINI

May 21-June 21 (La Mary Kate Olsen)

Make a move! Send a complimentary message to joor hottie! Si, joo are interesting, pero don’t forget to show joo are interested as well! Then it will get INNER-esting. Be ready for more, and the stars will help take joo for a ride on Saturday night.

CANCER

June 22-July 22 (La Lindsay Lohan)

When the weekend cums, balance joor time between friends y familia- get them out of the way! This is important. Only gives SPACE to joor fock buddy this weekend.



2 Responses to “ “Whore-o-scope” for joo horny whores! ”

  1. 🙂

  2. :))

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