Dr. Whorovitch
Posted by: Dr. Whorovitch on Monday, July 14th, 2008 to Whore-o-Scope


If Lindsay’s happy, we can all be happy.

CANCER (Lindsay Lohan)
June 22-July 22

It’s easy to be as hot as possible at the beginning of the week.Toward the end of the week, you have the potential to make your love life into a cheesy Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey romantic comedy. Who wants that? Trade!!! Take it to the bedroom nice and slow bubeleh…

LEO (Kim Cattrall)
July 23-August 22

You’re a roaring lion at the beginning of the week, so don’t wait — rourrrr. Who needs plans when you’ve got such a spontaneous nature? During the end of the week though, you’re going to have to take a closer look at all things. Observe. You will learn and go a LONG way baby.

VIRGO (Heidi Montag)
August 23-September 22

The stars are ready, willing and able to give it up to you. Carve out time to carve yourself in. If you are complaining that you aren’t getting ass, then it’s about time you grabbed someone’s ass with you to a cafe on Monday or Tuesday night. Around Wednesday or Thursday, though, it’s time to make sure your priorities line up with a certain someone’s if you want “things” to last.

LIBRA (Kim Kardashian)
September 23-October 22

What’s the BIG idea? Get yours OUT there as the week begins and see what will happen! Keep a BIG-picture perspective on Wednesday and if you ask you shall receive!

SCORPIO (Nicolette Sheridan)
October 23 - November 21

Work on your sexual endevours right away so that by Wednesday and Thursday it won’t be hard sorting out your true feelings. Take time out…rest up — so that you’ll want to be ready for the excitement the stars have coming on Friday.

SAGITTARIUS (Britney Spears)
November 22-December 21

Follow your love organ, and I am not talking about your heart. Your sexual instincts are right on as the week gets going if you just OPEN yourself up to your DEEPEST wisdom. The thing is, you’re wide open to a number of different directions now. And there’s no way to go wrong.

CAPRICORN (Sienna Miller)
December 22-January 19

You might wanna forget about whatever expectations you’ve got — not to mention plans you’ve made. The stars and sex shop have other things in store, and while you may not be sure where things are going, don’t panic. The energy coming around the end of the week, favors explorations in some pretty sweet and tasty directions.

AQUARIUS (Paris Hilton)
January 20-February 18

You’ve got the kind of soul insight at the beginning of the week. Use it while you’ve got it! Taking it personally is tempting, but don’t make assumptions. Getting physically active will help you be emotionally balanced. If there’s a problem just say “screw it” and you should.

PISCES (Sharon Stone)
February 19-March 20

If you’ve got any kind of sexually-related stuff going on in the work environment at the beginning of the week, be smart about it and be particularly aware. Christie Brinkley’s husband got himself in a big mess. Who ever is looking over your shoulder is more aroused than the person looking under your skirt.

ARIES (Jenna Jameson)
March 21-April 19

You’ve got balls as the week gets going and when combined with that nice round tuchis of yours, the results can only mean great things for your love life. Friday brings a dramatic rush of energy that continues all through the weekend — the kind that leads to amazing ecstasy.

TAURUS (Brooke Hogan)
April 20-May 20

Cues and clues about life and love are all over the place and so are you, you meshugener!!. You need to calm down. If someone tries to tie you down, don’t object….but have fun while you’re at it.

GEMINI (Mary Kate Olsen)
May 21-June 21

Your best asset isn’t your ass, but it is that BIG, sexy brain of yours. Use it, abuse it. Get your partner to his/her knees and sing a Justin Timberlake melody, ala “I just love your brain.”

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.

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49 Responses to “ Here’s what your Whore-o-scope says for this week… ”

  1. Fred Turd , on July 14th, 2008 at 8:19 pm Said:

    Fuck, I don’t want to be Mary Kate Olsen.

  2. Richard , on July 23rd, 2008 at 5:17 am Said:

    UCP are thief is bad man  I MAD on boss is fired woman liar.  

  3. Richard , on July 23rd, 2008 at 5:20 am Said:

    I quit ucp liar

  4. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 2:50 am Said:

    I quit that ucp are liar

  5. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 2:55 am Said:

     Not me i am very smart and brillant mind

  6. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 3:02 am Said:

    I quit that ucp are liar not me and I am very smart.

  7. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 8:25 am Said:

    he steal me I mad  that man are thief  and I don’t ucp is liar boss I going out  to get strikeright now. from: UCP 4Fl120 east 23rd streetNew. York, NY 10010 THat man is thief.Cut!!!!! UCP and Bush is crook? 

  8. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 8:28 am Said:

    strike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    strike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. La Coacha , on August 13th, 2008 at 8:33 am Said:

    What the khell is this Rishard saying?

  10. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 8:39 am Said:

    That services he  liar too

  11. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 9:09 am Said:

    strike!!!!!!  STRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  FOR !!!!!!!!!!
    UCP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE!!!!!!!!!!! LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    THIEF YOU ARE THIEF TOO

  12. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 9:18 am Said:

    I BEAT YOU UCP YOU’RE BIG LIAR I WILL STRIKE NOW RIGHT AND COP TOO!!!!!!!!
    OR SERVICES 
    STRIKE!!!!!!!!! STRIKE!!!!!!!!!! STRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!
    STRIKE!!!!!!!! STRIKE!!!!!!!!!!! STRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 9:27 am Said:

    I am great mind and brilliant mind.
    I strike now right YOU thief
    bye bye 
     

  14. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 10:13 am Said:

    I will call news CBS ABC NBC AND CNN  bye bye

  15. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 10:15 am Said:

    YOU LIAR JUST LIKE BUSH IS DEVIL BURN YOU.
     

  16. Richard , on August 13th, 2008 at 10:24 am Said:

    AND I DON’T LIKE BUSH IS BIG CROOK FOR WARS IS VERY BAD MAN. YOU FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!
     
     

  17. Richard , on August 14th, 2008 at 3:03 am Said:

    I make baseball lamps yankees and mets. And people love my baseball lamps is $35.00
    from home. And now I fix to make the  machine is top secret. I am very brilliant to fit
    thing not for people is top secret.

  18. Richard , on August 14th, 2008 at 4:33 am Said:

    You liar ucp is not protect to man is thief.  I
    don’t like ucp steal for money and I mad bad  boss woman. 

  19. Richard , on August 14th, 2008 at 5:07 am Said:

    I want protect thief right now

  20. Richard , on August 15th, 2008 at 3:59 pm Said:

    Cop are not protect UCP are thief now. MONDAY I going to get strike on the UCP 4fl
    120 east 23rd street
    New. York, NY 10010  
    I  am protect ucp and policeman are crook.
    UCP shame onyou not good for me  bye bye

  21. Richard , on August 16th, 2008 at 5:07 am Said:

    Shame on you UCP!!!! Shame on you UCP!!!! Shame on you UCP!!!! Shame on you UCP!!!!
    Shame on you UCP!!!! Shame on you UCP!!!!
    Shame on you UCP!!!! Shame on you UCP!!!!
    Shame on you UCP!!!! Shame on you UCP!!!!

  22. Richard , on August 16th, 2008 at 5:34 am Said:

    and Shame on you!!!! Cop’s and Services is
    not protect. YOU ARE FIRED!!!!!!! You not working.  Cops is not protect and services too you liar about that man are thief. I strike cop and services. I am strike UCP on the monday!!!!

  23. Richard , on August 16th, 2008 at 10:08 am Said:

    stop play off my e-mail

  24. Fred Turd , on August 16th, 2008 at 10:39 am Said:

    richard, please stop making stupid comments.

  25. Richard , on August 16th, 2008 at 3:06 pm Said:

    I don’t stop  you liar about man are thief, you
    stop bye bye you thief

  26. Richard , on August 16th, 2008 at 3:09 pm Said:

    Monday I going get strike from UCP NY,city

  27. Richard , on August 16th, 2008 at 3:28 pm Said:

    strike for UCP liar this is not protect man are thief. I protect there are steal you cut my  email I mad animal brave like that gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you liar about me. I am great hero just like good hearted. You stop liar bye bye.

  28. Richard , on August 17th, 2008 at 6:45 pm Said:

    Fred Turd you liar about UCP are thief. Maybe you too Fred to jail.

  29. Richard , on August 17th, 2008 at 6:53 pm Said:

    I am law and protect.
     

  30. Richard , on September 17th, 2008 at 11:01 am Said:

    I quit UCP there are thief from
    UCP fl4
    120 east 23rd street
    New. York, NY 10010
    Cop liar are not protect about that man are thief bad
    UCP

  31. Richard , on September 17th, 2008 at 11:15 am Said:

    I am not marriage and I love woman are beautiful
    my heart

  32. Richard , on September 17th, 2008 at 11:18 am Said:

    bye bye I going to sleep

  33. Richard , on September 21st, 2008 at 3:43 am Said:

    You Boss are liar. The man are thief from UCP are
    crook. I don’t like UCP steal my money and my laptop.
    I said you FIRED!!!!!! boss LIAR!!!!! God said you not
    protect for me. I am protect hero to save life not boss you’re liar. I am good hearted, smart, brilliant and
    generous.
    from UCP liar 4fl
    120 East 23rd sreet
    New. York, NY 10010
    bye bye you fired

  34. Richard , on October 12th, 2008 at 8:08 am Said:

    from UCP 4fl
    120 East 23rd street
    New. York, N.Y.10010

    There are thief there are thief there are thief there are
    thief there are thief there are thief there are thief there
    are thief there are thief there are thief there are thief
    there are thief there are thief there are thief there are
    thief there are thief there are thief there are thief there
    are thief there are thief there are thief there are thief
    there are thief there are thief there are thief there are
    thief there are thief there are thief there are thief there
    are thief there are thief there are thief there are thief
    there are there are thief there are thief there are thief!

  35. Richard , on October 18th, 2008 at 1:47 am Said:

    UCP are thief just like bush are liar crook.

  36. Richard , on October 18th, 2008 at 2:09 am Said:

    you have pay me $2,000.00

  37. Richard , on October 18th, 2008 at 5:59 am Said:

    UCP are not pay money, you liar about me. I am smart
    work and protect. And one man are thief you are thief
    you are thief you are thief you are thief you are thief you
    are thief you are thief you are thief you are thief you are thief you are thief you are thief you are thief you are thief
    you are thief you are thief you are thief you are thief you
    are thief you ‘re thief you’re thief !!!!

  38. Richard , on November 17th, 2008 at 10:27 pm Said:

    You going pay me oll you going to die

  39. Richard , on November 17th, 2008 at 10:45 pm Said:

    You thief you steal my laptop my money and people
    money 1 man are thief? I know who steal.
    And I’m protect.

  40. Richard , on November 17th, 2008 at 11:07 pm Said:

    That woman boss you are fire!!!!!! ucp are not good
    work and woman boss bad

  41. Richard , on November 17th, 2008 at 11:09 pm Said:

    He going to die you thief

  42. Richard , on November 17th, 2008 at 11:13 pm Said:

    bye

  43. Richard , on December 1st, 2008 at 2:02 pm Said:

    You are liar boss woman. About that man steal money
    and laptop. He is thief and he steal people money.
    You Fired!!!!

  44. Richard , on December 1st, 2008 at 2:10 pm Said:

    Services you fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. Richard , on January 2nd, 2009 at 1:17 am Said:

    YOU LIAR BOSS about that man is the thief. You’re liar
    and you going pay me $2000.00

  46. Richard , on January 2nd, 2009 at 1:33 am Said:

    I want $2000.00 and I will fight that man are thief. He
    will die.

  47. Richard , on January 2nd, 2009 at 1:58 am Said:

    YOU very bad ucp man are thief I don’t like you and I
    mad grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!?

  48. Richard , on February 4th, 2009 at 5:07 am Said:

    ucp is demon he is not good hearted

  49. Richard , on February 27th, 2009 at 3:49 am Said:

    That UCP are no hearted spirit. There are demon about one man are thief.

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