Posted by: La Coacha on Tuesday, December 9th, 2008 to Smack the Piñata

Recently, I was told by my friend Bijou that La Lezzie Lohan would be at the Grove Nordstrom for a meet and greet to promote her 6126 leggings line. It’s called 6-1-26 after La Marilyn Monroe’s birthday. How estoopid. If only La Marilyn knew her Gemini birthday would be juiced to sponser La Lindsay’s overpriced, ogly leggings that were probably made in Shina for 2 cents, and sold in the Jewnited States for $150.

So I went tonight (December 8, 2008) to finally meet La Cancer and she was over an hour late! Que typical…There were only maybe 60 people at the event, half of witch were Nordstrom employees and security! That isn’t even an exaggeration at all! Ask Nordstrom. And Lindsay’s Jewish Boyfriend, El Samantha Ronson wasn’t even there, witch made it less fun. All the people in this picture are either Nordstrom employees or her Hollywood reps.

She greeted maybe like twenty fans, all of whom were required to spend a MINIMUM of $150 in our thriving economy. If joo buy 2 leggings, its already over $200. We decided to buy the tacky leapord leggings (that we planned to return), so that she could “personally” style us.

After we were there for a couple of hours, we bought these leggings and got our wristband. Lindsay was taken to the back because we were told, “she was feeling very fragile”. A Nordstrom employee came up to us, the last four people (out of 30) and said “whatever joo guys do be very careful and calm, cheese feeling nervous and scared”. What could possibly have gone wrong??? We are in Nazi Nordstrom, there’s no papparazzi, only ONE personally selected Italiano photographer and a couple of fake starstruck fans.

So, the time arrives. They invite the last few of us in. And guess what…NO LINDSAY!! We were concerned. Did she overdose? I got excited. And then we hear the employees saying “CHEESE DONE. SORRY GUYS”. They started dismantling everything. “WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK!!!!!!”, I started screaming.

A Riot soon broke out among the four fans, which included: a New Jersey college student, a random Filipino pedophile, a Jewish mother and her 5 jeer old daughter, and La Coacha.

A Lebanese guy had this Lindsay cardboard, which was human enough to take a picture with me.

They put up red velvet ropes for her DEPARTURE as if the Queen of England was leaving the court! So she finally comes out, walks the aisle, while it is guarded by 20 unnecessary employees or security. Seriously there were like only 20 people in this aisle, again, half of which were Nordstrom security. She didn’t even smile or wave bye. At least the 100 jeer old fucking Queen of England WAVES!!!


We made a scene! Nordstrom employees were trembling. They didn’t know what to do to protect their classy image. The Manager of Nordstrom ran after us on the escalators , LITERALLY, apologized, and gave us a refund. They were so scared, they didn’t want to lose clients because of Lindsay. Some employees even OFFERED US FREE LINDSAY LEGGINGS!!! That’s how bad it was. I denied the free leggings and SO DID THE JEW!!!!

We walked out, and decided why not crash Randy Jackson’s book signing at Barnes and Nobles next door. and guess what? THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!JAJAJAJJAJA!!!!




La Coacha, the life coach to the stars

58 Responses to “ Lindsay Lohan was a BITCH at her Nordstrom Leggings Launch! ”

  1. What’s up homophobic bitch? You’re article was vomit inducing.

  2. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! That shit is hilarious!

  3. phuck that little washed up betch! her leggings are hideous anyway!

  4. I’m a fan; I love you mami

  5. OMG! Cheese Sush A Beeesh! Why The Khel Wool Chee Do Dat Four?

  6. [...] inside The Grove in Los Angeles on Monday (December 8). Check out pictures from WireImage and read La Coacha’s account of the evening, where Lindsay apparently blew off a group of four fans who had purchased a [...]

  7. who cares about her!!!

  8. who cares!@!!

  9. who cares!!!

  10. whatever has-been

  11. what da hell coacha how come my comments never post????

  12. I am LMAO! Why? Because I was there! She is not one fucking bit kidding. I was also in the “line” that was supposedly fans as we watched Nordstrom’s employees get their pics taken with her while we waited, and waited, and waited some more…and just when we thought the waiting was over was when The Sabotage happened….we were ushered into a small area and told to “organically shop” with Lindsay, haha, like that is going to happen, of course everyone converged on her (by everyone, I mean the 10 fans left) and she just……left, never to be seen again except during her brisk exit, followed by A MILLION “I’m sorry” from Nordstrom employees. However, before all of that happened, I overheard one Nordstrom say, “Well, I got my picture with her.” Another one said, “Well, the event is supposed to be over at 8p.” LiSTEN Nordstrom bitches, all of you, you duped all of us into spending (in my case $202) money to fund YOUR photo shoot with Lindsay. I drove up from OC for this. I am soooo pissed I can barely type right now. I don’t really know whether it’s Lindsay’s fault or not, but one thing I am sure, Nordstrom employees are for sure to to blame. The one behind me was a pesonal shopper for Nordstrom and she had been driven up from OC by drivers (along with other Nordstrom employees) so they were even brought in from surrounding stores. This event was for them! I have to calm down long enough to try to find out who to contact to submit complaints. Really, they should be sued. The entire event was a joke. They moved furniture and ropes several times while accommodating themselves. And at the end, they made it sound like Lindsay was a nutcase, “We went over all of this with her, we’re not sure why she left, we’re soooo sorry, here’s another picture of her.” WTF??!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. She aint SHIEET anywayz .. Spoilet lil brat … What are theze FAKE AZZ WANNA BEE CELEBZ gonna teach the NEW GENERATION ?? HOW 2 BEE A SPOILTED BITCH ???

  14. congrats, you managed to effectively discriminate against pretty much everyone. do me a favor and throw in a black joke as well so i can feel personally offended.

    btw, her leggings are selling out worldwide… hideous or not. and you chose to get dressed up and head down to this event, stand in line for a fu*king hour (which is beyond me if you didn’t like her to begin with), pay for leggings, get your wristband, wait some more and then bitch all the way home.

    oh my bad…. all the way to Randy Jackson.

    you go dawg.

  15. I was there too just shopping around Nordstrom and just unknowingly wandered into this event… I felt sorry for the fans since obviously they made the effort to wait there patiently to meet her but she pretty much just ignored them and just posed for the cameras… how hard is it to say hi to the 30 fans that showed up?

  16. I have no idea what went down but I’d say from your report that you must be quite the bitch yourself. Way to go if your aim was to offend, why don’t you throw in a little racial hatred along with all the homophobic vitrol, noo wait its already there..embarrasing.

  17. I saw you at the event… and this whole account is BS and you know it.

  18. Fly, the account was not BS and YOU KNOW IT. Everyone who was there said the same thing, yours is the only view that’s contradicting.

  19. This is my first – and last – visit to this sorry excuse for a website. I can take all manner of sarcasm, cheap racism, stupid humor, and creative misspellings, but this is just shit. Cheap, juvenile shit written by some bitter cunt for an audience of nine-year-olds. You make Perez Hilton look like Oscar Wilde.

  20. Haha, La Coacha does make Perez look like OScar Wilde but that’s why I LOOOOVE HER!!!!

    And La Coacha is so not racist. That’s honestly the stupidest accusation I have ever heard.

    My Jewish co-workers were laughing so hard at this post. It was hilarious!! Keep it up baby girl!

  21. Lindsay is beautiful and talented.
    Ugly people are jealous of her.

  22. [...] Lindsay Lohan acts a total bitch to fans at Nordstroms – CT [...]

  23. [...] not get the time with Lindsay expected (one photo of Lindsay from the event here, one display photo here). After buying the leggings in order to talk with Lindsay, apparently Lindsay was not felling well [...]

  24. This blog is classic. We’ll be linking you on b/c I was laughing so hard.

    Take care,
    Chase This!

  25. I guess none of you perfect people ever felt bad at work or play.

  26. LMFAO! I love you! I hope that bitch heard the lebian part!

  27. If you don’t like her, why did you go there wait for hours just to meet her and have her “style” and talk to you? cos to anyone that would sound like you liked her.
    I know someone who ordered her leggings for christmas and they’ve been on the waiting list for a month so obviously more than 4 people want them.

  28. whats with your spelling/? “joo” and “cheese”? lame. grow up.

  29. [...] last week’s Lindsay Lohan Event, Hugh Hefner’s turnout was pretty big. There was a huge line from the second floor that [...]

  30. You must be out of your damn mind if you think Lindsay’s hideous leggings are selling out world wide. It’s funny that some of you mention that sometimes you do get sick at work, but did you see her? She looked perfectly fine. having only 30 fans waiting to spend 200$ on cheap leggings only to watch Lindsay leave them ungreeted and empty pocketed tells you alot. It’s pathetic that she still has fanbots defending her and if you can’t see through her cold heart and leathery skin, you’ve got some major issues.

    I would’ve taken this website far more seriously if you had chosen to speak english OP. You too sound like an illiterate idiot.

  31. [...] attendants freaked out. They didn’t know what to do. I believe it. When I visited Lindsay at Nordstrom the employees freaked out, didn’t know what to do with her either. Lindsay had to call it a [...]

  32. UGLY FAT COACHA!!!!! Stop hating on Lindsay Lohan you wish you could be at least half of her.
    She is a very nice person.
    First take a look at yourself and don’t blame her for not taking a picture WIT YOU!!!!!!
    Stop erasing my comments to you!!!!

  33. [...] Well, joo got to yust READ THIS!!!! [...]

  34. why do you keep typing  joo insted of you and laa and jaaa, are you french? no, its not smart, or fun if you speak like that then your a fucking retard

  35. Her humor is just like Sarah Silverman, that’s the point, she makes fun of EVERYbody.  She’ s mexican, so she’s saying words like joo, ja, and cheese to emphasize the accent, get it?!  That’s the beauty of it.  I can’t believe I’m having to explain this.  Again, I was one of the 5 fans left (not the jew, hahaha) at this event and it went down exactly like she said.  Plus, you’d be po’d too if you spent that much money, waited in line forever while you watched all the NOrdstrom employees get their pics taken with her, then she suddenly decides she’s leaving, f the handful of fans that just spent $200 to pay for her photoshoot with employees.  Go read my post above about the comments I overheard from the NOrd emploees.      

  36. hahaha, this made my day. thanks for the post!
    i jus ran into an incident with Linsanity too. and i feel pissed off so i googled “lindsay lohan bitch” and this is something that come up.
    thanks. fuck shes such a stupid fkn bitch.

  37. ok now im reading comments, seriously lay off this blogger (my first time on ur site). it was funny, i actually understood the ‘english’. and i didnt get any hint of homophobia or racism in her post… im bisexual and bi racial and dont kno wat u guys r talking abt.. all im thinking now is lindsay is a fkn bitch xD

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  45. Wow what a bitch Lindsay is. I’m speechless. I won’t feel any sympathy when she dies in some alcoholic drug stuper. WHAT A BITCH..

  46. Machete was pretty decent! Lindsay should do more roles like that.

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