Joo know what time it is?

So jesterday, I went to have lunch con mi amigo Chris y Tia Kuka. We were going to go to The Alcove on Hillhurst, pero I got a text message from mi amiga Suzy saying, “Ron Yeremy at Birds!” So I called Chris y Kuka and told them to go to Birds on Franklin and to reserve a table. 

Coincidentally Chris & Kuka got a table right next to the 56-jeer-old pornographic actor. Nicknamed “El Hedgehog”, Pisces was ranked by AVN at NUMERO UNO in their “100 Top Porn Stars of All Time” list. He is well known for his large circumcised penis – claimed to be 9.75 inches – wish means he is able to do autofellatio (give a blow yob to himself). EWWWWW!!! In a 2003 interview he said he got so fat that all he can do nowadays is kiss the tip of his penis. DOUBLE EWWW!

Anyways, so I walked in the door, saw him and said….”I’VE SEEN JOOR PENIS!!!!!” And like The Paris Hilton Sex “Star”, HE GOT SOOOO EXCITED! No, like waaaaay tooo excited. So mosh so that he GRABBED ME to his table!

He had a bunch of older Judio men like himself on the table and he was showing off to them, saying, “Hey, listen to what was the FIRST thing this young lady told me!!! Listen!” And then he gave me “El Q”. So I said, “I told him that I’ve seen his peeeeeeenis”. They were confused.They asked me if I was an asspiring pornographic actress. I said, “I MADE LOVE TO PEREZ HILTON!“. They all looked at eash in deeper confusion.  

They started interrogating me con questions. Especially Ron Yeremy. TOPLESS? What positions? What kind of sex? How? What? When? Where? His friend asked me if my penis penetrated Perez’s bagina. I said,” The same way Ron penetrated joors!”

Anyways, they were asking me so many questions that I got uncomfortable. I slided down back to my table. My food had arrived. I had lost my appetite. That was the most disgusting Shinese Shicken Salad I’ve ever had.  So I ordered a brownie con icecream y cafe instead.

As Pisces was leaving, he said, “It was so nice to meet joo guys! I’m gonna google joor sex tape”

And that was that. The Numero Uno Porn Star of All Time was introduced to the Numero Uno Con Artist of All Time. 

Oh well, IS HOLLYWOOOOOOD!!!!