La Coacha
Posted by: La Coacha on Sunday, August 16th, 2009 to Chisme

La Coacha

Oye chismosos!

My other yob has consumed my time for Chisme Time! They have added my hours, even for the weekends! The jooniberse is testing me.

Here’s only one of the ridiculous events that happened to me recently…

For everyone who doesn’t know…E! is my dream network! It’s puro chisme! It’s even on my bision board!

So on Thursday I had lunch with an amiga who is a blogger for E! Online. The second I parked my car, I got a phonecall from a talent producer from E! completely UNRELATED to the blogger!!!!! What the khell are the shances????

She asked me if I would be interested to co-host a reality show con La Carmen Electra!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost got into a car accident. I was sooooo excited!! I said, “SI, SI, SI!!!” I also told her that I was actually at the E! building on Wilshire!

So, La Judia talent producer called my friend and asked if she could swap La Coacha. I asked the talent producer how she knew me and she said that she had seen me perform at the Hollywood improv with my comedian friend Sam Tripoli a jeer and a half ago!!! Imagine that!

While I was waiting in the lobby, I ran into a Sexican I knew who tried to get me a show for a Latino network, 2 jeers ago. Cheese now a producer at E! How crazy! Two jeers ago, when I told her that I wanted a show on E! said that she didn’t think E! would hire a Latina comedian. So imagine how happy she was to see me there!

I then went to the 4th floor to meet up with the “Director of Development”. That’s the man I need to make a show happen! It was insane in the membrane. It was my bision board becoming reality. Thank joo Oprah!

So they asked me all these questions, and then took chots of my entire body in every, single angle. I was being camera f*cked. It felt weird. I told them I was a comedian and not a Playboy bunny. And then they took out a picture of my photochopped Playboy picture and told me, “Then what is this???”. I said, “That’s called PHOTOCHOP.” OMG, they thought I was a Playboy bunny. No wonder! They bursted out in laughter, and continued camera f*cking me some more.

Then they asked me if I had a passport to go to Greece for 3 weeks starting this weekend! My mundo came tumbling down. I’m an alien, what papers??? I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t do anything. How could I get to Greece with no passport? It yust wasn’t going to happen. Another missed opportunity for Coacha.

Joo know what they say? In showbiz, it’s opportunity meets preparation!!  The jooniberse is asking me to get ready. I need to work on my papers and I really need to take care of my body.

I’ve worked so hard blogging for a lil’ over a jeer, and now that I have a full time yob and can’t, is when networks are all of a sudden reading my website!

I’m taking a break for a while. Pero, when I come back, I will come back with a BAM, BAM, BAM!!!



25 Responses to “ La Coacha’s Leave of Abstinence! ”

  1. La Kiwi , on August 16th, 2009 at 10:37 am Said:

    OMG La Coacha!!! I’m so excited for you! I can’t wait to watch you on tv! I’m so proud of you! :D YAY!

  2. Carlos , on August 17th, 2009 at 11:09 am Said:

    cOACHA YOU ARE A star!!!!!!!

  3. Julia La Actriz , on August 17th, 2009 at 11:14 am Said:

    Ay MIJA, how can you not have papers. Joo can go down Alvarado Street and they sell everything from resident cards to drivers licenses. As soon as joo get off the freeway go towards 3rd street and the are right there. Men and women stand on the side walk making the letter C with their fingers to tell you they are selling Cards. Go MIJA, GO.

  4. Krazykikita , on August 17th, 2009 at 1:54 pm Said:

    Coacha you can borrow my passport and my social security.

  5. Enrique , on August 17th, 2009 at 1:55 pm Said:

    Marry me and I fix your papers.

  6. tmch , on August 17th, 2009 at 8:06 pm Said:

    All the best to you La Coacha!!!

  7. ugzi , on August 17th, 2009 at 8:07 pm Said:

    JUST WAIT AND JEW WILL BE NEXT SHELSEA LATELY!!!!!!!

  8. Consuelo , on August 18th, 2009 at 2:10 pm Said:

    I see millions of dollars coming your way very soon hahahahaha

  9. La Coacha’s Leave of Abstinence! | Celebrity News & Story , on August 18th, 2009 at 5:36 pm Said:

    [...] the whole article on : La Coacha’s Leave of Abstinence! Related topics : chisme, world celeb var [...]

  10. princeralph , on August 19th, 2009 at 12:53 pm Said:

    im so sad for you

  11. Tooth Fairy Pocket Pillow , on August 23rd, 2009 at 12:39 am Said:

    Wonderful site with insightful articles. I will make use of most of this information.

  12. Marcus Campbell , on August 23rd, 2009 at 2:09 pm Said:

    Keep working ,great job!

  13. Sites , on August 24th, 2009 at 5:30 pm Said:

    Hi there, I found your blog via Google while searching for first aid for a heart attack and your post looks very interesting for me.

  14. Link Cariño | Hissip , on August 29th, 2009 at 5:18 am Said:

    [...] Coacha is going to be the first Latina comedian hoston E! Work it, [...]

  15. maria , on September 9th, 2009 at 3:47 pm Said:

    are you blogging for perez hilton now.just seems that when you stopped blogging at chisme time suddenly the new blogger at perez writes a lot like you specially the EL LAY part throught his blog. just a thought mmmmmmm

  16. Valentina De La Sierra , on September 20th, 2009 at 3:50 pm Said:

    We’ll be here waiting when you return. Good luck, BESOS y I lob u!!!

  17. Oscar , on September 23rd, 2009 at 7:06 am Said:

    Mija!! jau can joo lost this oportunity? joo are sooo hot, u can get watever joo want! con ese cuerpecito latino… joo are the next La Joan Rivers!! la queen of all media! good  luk… joo was born as a star!

  18. Adrian_Boy , on September 24th, 2009 at 9:55 pm Said:

    aii Coacha!! this was a life opportunity!! girl i would love to see you on TV keeping the latino name up high. get your stuff together girl, no pierdas tiempo. sabes k estas opportunidades se dan muy pocas veses…ponte las pilas and do your thang girl!! i know we will soon see you on E!… Te deseo la mejor de la suerte, deveras de puro corazon!! cuidate loca!! xoxo

  19. Arturo , on September 30th, 2009 at 12:56 pm Said:

    Chica, you should know!  Go nab yourself a Jew, si un Judeo (or Judio?), and marry him to get your paper$$$.

  20. Viridiana Carrillo , on October 20th, 2009 at 7:00 pm Said:

    i love youuuuuu !
    haha

    :)

  21. Monica Velarde , on November 16th, 2009 at 4:26 pm Said:

    hey tu cuerpo esta perfecto como todas nosotras latinas no te dejes que te cambien tu modo de ser aya en el canal E!  ya te puedo mirar en la TB pero no que qiero ver te flaca como la loca de la LINDSAY LOHAN girl nomas sigue con lo que estsas haciendo y vas a ser una HOLLYWOOD STAR jew know girl WORK IT ! - TU AMIGA MONICA BYE! 

  22. Rickky , on December 10th, 2009 at 2:07 pm Said:

    Very usefull Info Thank You for sharing

  23. Tammy , on December 10th, 2009 at 3:26 pm Said:

    I love to read articles that are informative, Thanks again for a nice site

  24. cushion cut diamond , on May 16th, 2010 at 9:11 pm Said:

    Guys, Great article and very very interesting blog. That’s one thing I’m really looking forward. Looking forward to reading more from you next week.

  25. Pointer Men's Basketball , on October 30th, 2010 at 1:27 am Said:

    You you should change the page name title La Coacha’s Leave of Abstinence! | Chisme Time to something more generic for your blog post you create. I loved the the writing however.

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