Joo know what time it is?

So the other night, I went to my friend’s birthday party at a bar/restaurant that used to be a former fire station. Que cool is that? It was so beautiful and romantic. I felt like I was in France…Anyways, I was sitting down and this tall, dark and handsome man came to our table and said, “Pardon, somebody smells appetizing”. Eberybody pointed at me, becoz I was wearing Nina Ricci’s fragrance. He then kissed my hand…

This perfume gets me game all the time…Then they grab me and they said, “Coacha, joo know who that is?”. For the first time in my life, la chisme queen, was embarrassed to admit that she didn’t know chisme. They then said, “He is Fadi Al-Fayed, the cousin of BILLIONAIRE Dodi-Al Fayed. Joo know the one that was dating La Princessa Diana“.

My heart dropped! Mi mama was obsessed over La Princessa Diana story! Mi mama and I had long intellectual conversations all the time about Diana’s death. She was an English Princessa dating an Egyptian Arab and England was not ready for that!!! To top it off she was pregnant weed his baby!!! La Princessa was going to have an Arab shild! Chisme Time! Anyways, she went to France weed El Dodi, and for some reason the bodyguard was driving them that night? Who does that? Plus the driver was completely intoxicated. Who does that too?? Someone drugged him! This was for sure planned by the British Intelligence!!! I was so obsessed weed this tragic story.

Anyways, I pretended I didn’t know anyteeng about him. He called the garson over and asked for the most expensive bottle of Moet et Chandon. This chit was like $2,000. Chisme F*cking Time!

I was soooo excited I wanted to document it somehow. My camera wasn’t working. Luckily, there was a cute photobooth at this place. Can joo believe that?? We took this picture, HAVE IN MIND I MET HIM 5 MINUTES BEFORE WE TOOK THIS PICTURE!!! Doesn’t it look like we went on a honeymoon to Tahiti???

I was having the time of my life!!! Being a woman I started fantasizing about my hacienda, my yacht, my trips to France, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Brazil, Argentina, Spain, Switzerland, Bahamas…

And then reality struck!

The Tijuana Intelligence is after my royal ass! F*CK!!!!!

It’s Chisme Time! Chisme, Chisme Time!!!